Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dear Zeb

Part of an email from Zeb.


...I saw the blog for the house, it makes me too sad to read it. Hope it's helping you process things tho....


Dear Zeb,

I'm sorry that the blog and the potential sale of the house make you sad.  And, yes, the blog does help me to process it.

I'm going to share a few other thoughts with you about the whole thing.

Many elements have gone into making this decision (and, who knows, it may not sell).  One obvious one is that the house is beginning to get a little run-down and that makes me sad to see - the collapsing garage, we need a need roof, the windows in your room need to be replaced and the basement could use an overhaul.  That's just for starters.

The yard needs work and a new fence and gate.  Between Dad's long hours in NYC, commuting time and degenerative disc disease, he can't do everything that he'd like to (and certainly not what I WANT him to - lol).

Over the years, Dad and I chose both to live fairly well and to "invest" in you and Eli rather than pay off the mortgage, renovate the house or even save what we probably should have.  We absolutely have no doubt that this was the right decision and would do all over again...in a New York minute.

You and Eli had rich childhoods with good friends and the opportunity to use your imaginations, learn and explore.  You went on to have first-class educations both at Fairfield Prep and then at two prestigious private universities.  And, I think you had some memorable and formative vacations, camp experiences, cultural excursions, etc etc.

Those are the things that last.  The memories, the evolution of the men that you and Eli have become and the rich family history that we share. 

The house was the framework for some of this but the lives lived within are what truly will withstand the passage of time.  A house needs to be full of life.  It's been a good house and a fabulous home and I hope it gives that opportunity to whomever lives here in the future.

If you think about, I'm the person who has spent the most time in the house making it a home.  Dad's been gone at work a great deal, you and Eli have been in school here and then away and now living in New York and Brooklyn.  So, it's very difficult although certainly there is some excitement, too, within the uncertainty.  Nothing wrong with change or a fresh start.

I remember reading this quote:  "Home is any four walls that enclose the right person."  Or, in our case, any four walls that enclose the right four people and two slobbering dogs.  You can take that to the bank!

I love you, Zeb.

xxooxxoo  Ma

"This House is Not for Sale" - Ryan Adams


  1. Nina, I'm truly loving your blog and the sentiments within. Change is hard, but you seem to be handling it with grace and good sense of humor. Good luck!

  2. I re-visit the places of my rich childhood in my mind. They are either no longer there or have greatly changed. We want to hold on to the happy times and places. Paul and John said it well: "there are places I remember in my life tho some have changed, some forever not for better, some have gone and some remain." But all things must pass and the memories have to be within us and not within a building. Zeb, you'll see, it will be ok. Hugs, Janice